Too Much Shopping...

I don't want this blog to only be about clothes - not least because I don't want to give the impression that I spend all my time shopping (even if it feels like that some days...)! But, it seems that every time I do have to go shopping, I run across some item of clothing that I find reason to object to.

I was at Target today.

I spend a lot of time there - it is one-stop-shopping for me, an important feature because I am either
a) out with three children under the age of five or
b) due home soon!

I remembered today the first time I saw children's items that really made me mad. I was at Target that day, too.

They were heels for children of 18 months. I know they'd fit an 18 month old because I had one at the time.

And I can't imagine, in any circumstance, feeling that heels would be appropriate footwear for her. It made me so angry, I sent a picture and a rant to my friends about it. At the time, I wondered if maybe I should start boycotting Target, but I knew that I'd be punishing myself more than Target by doing that. So, I contented myself with complaining to my friends about it.

Maybe I need to complain to some more people, because today, this is what I saw...


I've always seen this whole sexualization of childhood thing as two sides of the same coin.

Girls, of course, are painted as passive princesses. We've all seen the mini bikinis for 2 year olds, the low slung jeans for 4 year olds, the padded bras for 8 year olds. We've tsktsked over Dance Moms (seriously, though, wouldn't you have got up and said - "Whoa! There's a line and you've crossed it... c'mon kiddo, we're outta here!"? Of course you would have!) and Toddlers and Tiaras? ('nuf said)...

But, have we said enough about boys? Are boys being painted into a corner?

If girls must be passive, then boys have to be the opposite, right? And sometimes that's just 'active' - all kids are active. No problem there (except that girls are being left out, of course, but we're covering that...)

But sometimes, it's more than "just active" - sometimes it's aggressive. Predatory, even. Boys are being shown at younger and younger ages what is expected of them. And, it's not good.

A quiz - about rape.

Is it a straight line from the tee shirt to a rape quiz? No, of course not. But, the tee shirt contributes a culture that makes frat boys think that a rape quiz is acceptable. There are lots of steps along the way, and parents with boys older than my little guy know it. The recent remarks by rapper Too Short are an example. I'm not providing a link here, because I found them so offensive... you can Google it, if you need to.

There is an emphasis on toughness and all that encompasses. But, being tough cuts you out from so much. If you are "tough" what does that exclude you from? Musical expression? Tenderness towards others? Generosity of spirit on the sporting field? The sentiments expressed on this tee shirt exclude boys from big, important parts of life.

And, no, before anyone says it... I wouldn't buy it.
But that doesn't solve the problem.
I live, my husband lives, our children live, in a society that feels that the sentiment expressed on this tee shirt is OK. It's a joke.

But, it's more than a joke.

It's a choice. A choice to tacitly accept a life where our daughters are preyed on and our sons are the predators.

No. My children are more than that. And so are yours.